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Memoria

PoKeHybrid Trainer

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September 4th, 2017

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It's 5:35 AM. The room I paid for with my money while local friends are too cheap to pony up the cash for? Hoarding room on the bed that I got for the lot of us. Considering in NYC I even got this hotel room in Staten Island... wow. Wowie. No decency to give me room to sleep on the bed as they're all locking up room on the mattress. The floor is starting to look very comfortable right now, but these fuckers want to use the shuttle to the ferry instead of the local bus. Which is BS since public transit is right outside.

Enough is enough. The Oracle reading from Ken (who is sleeping on the floor, damn) is spot on. Seeing you? Primary objective. These folks are just getting in the way with how unthankful these fuckers are.

Shouldn't vacation be a time to relax? Feels like I am taken advantage of, time and time again. I'm the only one with money most of the time and if I kept a running tally? Each of these three guys would owe me 100 bucks.

5:45AM, they wanna wake at 8 for a 10A shuttle. I'm gonna be home to finish cleaning my room up from the bedbug bombs and get another pillow. By the time I return I hope to be laying down in bed all day.

Missing you. Loving yous.

July 17th, 2017

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All I want to do is sleep. Why do anything?

Need to vent before I burst. We can help each other... Right?

July 2nd, 2017

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Local friends aren't free? Alright. But when folks online are just... not around?

Haven't RPed in months?

Sure work is fine, but I feel depressed. Very depressed. Laying in bed not wanting to do anything depressed.

I haven't seen Robyn online in awhile. Missing her. Now that I am around she seems to be so busy. A lot has happened these last two months. Need to vent. Play. Don't even feel like playing Prey or New Vegas. Fchat is a drought and no one in Discord.

I feel alone.

June 16th, 2017

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Dreams lately. Of Robyn and all.

Some good. Seeing her again and happy to see me. This early morning? Woke up as she lay dying, feeling guilt.

Missing her terribly, despite FB being chill...

May 2nd, 2017

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It's strange, really.

Able to be mindful of helping someone that needs a good person, but to be self-aware that not being too close is the professional thing to do.

The fuck am I spewing? Okay.

I'm at my last cases of the day. Teacher is on the verge of tears. She was set up by the principal to proctor for the statewide exams, and she took some abuse from the principal and betrayed by a teacher she thought was a friend.

What else could I do?

I listened while working.

Things turned to her talking about future goals, and beyond teaching. Saying she didn't get master degrees for nothing. Was trying to cheer up with looking up sea lions underwater. States how she used to be so optimistic and bright, but turned to be a loner and pessimistic as time went on.

Talks about herself for awhile. Then asks for my goals. "Move out of here to Alabama, and see a friend I have known for more than a decade." I said that pretty quickly and as a matter of factly. She states how she wishes she had an answer with such conviction.

Mentions how she wanted to be a zoologist. To work with 'em because humans betray. "Only those that only care about themselfves do these things, like people who are in this city."

I find she's from Oregon. Well damn.

Mentioning furries, she wants to look up what one is. Bless her heart that she thinks of the minotaur for it and not the dark sides of the interwebs.

Was insightful. How she wishes she can disconnect from people, myself fixing computers isn't too different. Maybe so.

So I am almost done. She wants to hug me. It's not a look that I get often. But those that I see it from make me feel human again. Keeping professional, I ignore it to get my phone for a signature. She changes stances to shake my hand, for thanking me for listening, and that I am a straight up guy.

I may have saved her from quitting teaching, telling her to not let this path be a career.

She then asks for my number.

I pause.

She soon says it's for uh, repair jobs if she needs me.

(My route in work uses her school as part of my area, so that much is set. Don't need my number for that, only a work order.)

Did she ask for my number to get to know me?

I dunno. I thought fraternizing isn't allowed in schools.

All I can think about the lady in Bama that may or may not care that I still care for her. Professionalism is one thing, but...

I would have been that nice and understanding to anybody. Would love to do that with Robyn. So I cry knowing I most likely broke some 30 year old gal's heart for caring about someone that may not care how far I would go to even see them again.

Despite feeling lonely.

Am I so fucking stupid for believing this?

...How long since I RPed anything? Months?

FFS, this and home life is... AHHHH.

April 24th, 2017

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Feels like Kira took the kindness of my heart and beat the devil out of it.

Robyn, wish I had some opening to talk away with you. So much to say. Confide. Trust.

April 12th, 2017

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If Kleo Neko is seeking me out, and Robyn has been in deep thought while I am being tempted...

Think I better see how the blue-eyed girl has to say. May be everything I'd wanna hear. Important things. Stay the course and be patient.

Mel? Ya here too?

March 29th, 2017

Checking my phone and....

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Called Robyn? How?! Did the macros from my dialing screen... Fuck. I hope she isn't pissed. Not sure if I hung up or she did. 7AM? While I was grabbing my phone, it wasn't in sleep mode? One touch dialing?

Not that I would mind hearing her again... Been awhile. Damn if I know if that excerpt of Jim Boom resonated. Sure did to me.

March 26th, 2017

Memory of an old fear returns.
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