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Memoria

PoKeHybrid Trainer

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July 17th, 2017

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All I want to do is sleep. Why do anything?

Need to vent before I burst. We can help each other... Right?

July 2nd, 2017

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Local friends aren't free? Alright. But when folks online are just... not around?

Haven't RPed in months?

Sure work is fine, but I feel depressed. Very depressed. Laying in bed not wanting to do anything depressed.

I haven't seen Robyn online in awhile. Missing her. Now that I am around she seems to be so busy. A lot has happened these last two months. Need to vent. Play. Don't even feel like playing Prey or New Vegas. Fchat is a drought and no one in Discord.

I feel alone.

June 16th, 2017

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Dreams lately. Of Robyn and all.

Some good. Seeing her again and happy to see me. This early morning? Woke up as she lay dying, feeling guilt.

Missing her terribly, despite FB being chill...

May 2nd, 2017

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It's strange, really.

Able to be mindful of helping someone that needs a good person, but to be self-aware that not being too close is the professional thing to do.

The fuck am I spewing? Okay.

I'm at my last cases of the day. Teacher is on the verge of tears. She was set up by the principal to proctor for the statewide exams, and she took some abuse from the principal and betrayed by a teacher she thought was a friend.

What else could I do?

I listened while working.

Things turned to her talking about future goals, and beyond teaching. Saying she didn't get master degrees for nothing. Was trying to cheer up with looking up sea lions underwater. States how she used to be so optimistic and bright, but turned to be a loner and pessimistic as time went on.

Talks about herself for awhile. Then asks for my goals. "Move out of here to Alabama, and see a friend I have known for more than a decade." I said that pretty quickly and as a matter of factly. She states how she wishes she had an answer with such conviction.

Mentions how she wanted to be a zoologist. To work with 'em because humans betray. "Only those that only care about themselfves do these things, like people who are in this city."

I find she's from Oregon. Well damn.

Mentioning furries, she wants to look up what one is. Bless her heart that she thinks of the minotaur for it and not the dark sides of the interwebs.

Was insightful. How she wishes she can disconnect from people, myself fixing computers isn't too different. Maybe so.

So I am almost done. She wants to hug me. It's not a look that I get often. But those that I see it from make me feel human again. Keeping professional, I ignore it to get my phone for a signature. She changes stances to shake my hand, for thanking me for listening, and that I am a straight up guy.

I may have saved her from quitting teaching, telling her to not let this path be a career.

She then asks for my number.

I pause.

She soon says it's for uh, repair jobs if she needs me.

(My route in work uses her school as part of my area, so that much is set. Don't need my number for that, only a work order.)

Did she ask for my number to get to know me?

I dunno. I thought fraternizing isn't allowed in schools.

All I can think about the lady in Bama that may or may not care that I still care for her. Professionalism is one thing, but...

I would have been that nice and understanding to anybody. Would love to do that with Robyn. So I cry knowing I most likely broke some 30 year old gal's heart for caring about someone that may not care how far I would go to even see them again.

Despite feeling lonely.

Am I so fucking stupid for believing this?

...How long since I RPed anything? Months?

FFS, this and home life is... AHHHH.

April 24th, 2017

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Feels like Kira took the kindness of my heart and beat the devil out of it.

Robyn, wish I had some opening to talk away with you. So much to say. Confide. Trust.

April 12th, 2017

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If Kleo Neko is seeking me out, and Robyn has been in deep thought while I am being tempted...

Think I better see how the blue-eyed girl has to say. May be everything I'd wanna hear. Important things. Stay the course and be patient.

Mel? Ya here too?

March 29th, 2017

Checking my phone and....

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Called Robyn? How?! Did the macros from my dialing screen... Fuck. I hope she isn't pissed. Not sure if I hung up or she did. 7AM? While I was grabbing my phone, it wasn't in sleep mode? One touch dialing?

Not that I would mind hearing her again... Been awhile. Damn if I know if that excerpt of Jim Boom resonated. Sure did to me.

March 26th, 2017

Memory of an old fear returns.

March 21st, 2017

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Sinead in dnd? Cool. Lineart then colored? Pretty. Maybe that would explain quite a bit with a dream I had.

There's a battle of some sort. I (first person POV as Jim Boom) seem to be overwhelmed in battle by multiple grunts of a PKH variety. A flash of light, and pain affects me- a last second attack targets me before the flash.

I'm soon woken up by the smells of bubble gum. The POV switches to third person, viewing what's around. I'm on a bed in pain, with Sinead in her dark gear- the solo pic and last new pic in PKHT-verse. Cross-legged, she's smiling that I am in one piece. There is a tail grown out of her, most likely identifying that she went hybrid form to fight, as well as heal me. She has a Ditto Cyto of his design, able to make her a shifter. Huh. I'm not quite awake, so she slips away from my head, letting her sandaled feet softly pat my chest, She hopes I would be okay, and know there is more than a daughter that missed 'em. I swear I wake up just as hearing this, but she's gone. I'm at the hotel that is in the MORPH facility. Must be part of that storyline. I then wake up for real.

March 19th, 2017

Dream log: A hopeful one.

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I was dreaming I was in my brothers' room, basically a living room with the daybeds. Robyn was... visiting me. I was a gentleman that I didn't even touch her, but say close. Kept being cool and stuff while she was around to talk about a lot of things.

Then she went to the bathroom. Texted me while for some reason I had an old Nokia brick phone. Last time I had that we had lovey dovey texts then. I saw one from her. She returns from the bathroom to glomp me. I try to be romantic, so does she, and we sound like stuff from movies. We laugh and stay close.

She comments about showing me photos of her stretching classes called Xu classes, with plenty of foot shots. She gets a text, and I wake from my phone vibrating.

Said message stated that the work project I was assigned to for a week was a success and the client was really happy with us. Well, here's to hoping I can even remain to get that far. I've a few theories, about figuring out how she is from my experiences, but would rather speculate them with her than on here.

Christ, a dnd character based on Sinead? Jim in there? Before my dream started, I saw PKHT Sinead curl close to hug Jim. She was saying that everything is okay, that I was allowed rest. Then that lovely dream...

I'd be happy for RP with her and Rogue. Mind's looking for happiness... I guess we shall see where it goes, huh?
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